This girl's gonna have ish-SHOOOOOOOs

(WARNING: If you follow Law & Order: SVU, this post discusses plot points from tonight's episode.)

So, because I worked for 10 hours and am lazy, I let momentum carry me past My Name is Earl (What an unexpected guest star tonight! And a Hands on a Hardbody reference!) and the Office to the Special Victims Unit, on the premise of tonight's assailant being an 8 year old girl.

Boy, did the show deliver. At a Catholic school, the girl stabbed an older boy with scissors in the back, paralyzing him. As the episode progresses, we find out that she was being tormented for having two mommies, of the "Dude, that's hot!" variety. However, you rarely see her biological mother, as she's dying of cancer. The girl soon confesses, and she's about to be arrested...and it's only 9:30. Hmm...things are about to get contrived...

Well, here come the curveballs, en masse. First, in the girl's defense, her family attorney files a motion to suppress her confession, because the child wasn't in the presence of her parent or guardian ("Momma-Zoe" was there). Pragmatism at its best.

And then the revelations start rolling in. The victim cut off the child's hair and started calling her a dyke, which led to the attack. The priest of the school also lied to protect himself and the school. The girl's grandparents file for custody to keep the child from Momma-Zoe. Before a plea agreement for counseling, the grandparents reveal that the girl admitted to being sexually molested by Momma-Zoe. Momma-Zoe is arrested on the day her partner passes away.

During THAT investigation, the detectives find that the story is riddled with holes and conjectures, and that the grandparents manipulated the girl into implicating her mother. Retired felons. Sweet.

So, during THEIR trial, we learn that they were convinced children of gay couples are sexually abused by their parents from "studies" provided by their ATTORNEY.

The grandparents get off (as witnesses for the prosecution of their lawyer). Momma-Zoe is a widow, but is vindicated and has her daughter again.

And as for Emma, the girl who was bullied at school, lost one of her mothers, paralyzed a boy with scissors, was made to believe she was sexually abused by her mother, and is one of three generations in her family to be arrested on felony charges in the last year? She would have no chance of being well-adjusted.