Goddamn you half-Japanese girls

So I was looking up info on my ol' blue-haired Japanese teacher, Kuriya-sensei, who left the U of I for Pittsburgh in 2004. I learned the following items of interest:

-She earned her Ph.D. last year. omedetou gozaimasu! o-tsukare-sama deshita.

-She left Carnegie Mellon for Earlham College, where I thought another one of my Japanese teachers, Hanzawa-sensei, was employed.

-One of the pages on the Google search contained this gem (use kommodant@mail.com) from 20 months ago. My ears are burning. ...No wait, I'm typing at 1 AM in Cedar Falls in December. That seems like a physical impossibility.

Oh well. At least I know the whereabouts of Kawano-sensei. She went scuba diving in Palau. I understand it's much frendlier than that CIA page.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart...

God, I hate that song. And what's worse, there was a series by that name on the air in Japan last year. So naturally, I had to hear that song in every English class throughout December.

In contrast, I totally LOVE "All I Want For Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey now. I would bounce around, dancing gaily (ha ha! double entendre!) as it played in the third year (9th grade) classrooms, to the bemused delight of my students. Good times.

(To those who got Wham! stuck in their heads by the title, my bad. I hope Mariah makes up for it. If not, then "Bah humbug, but that's too strong, because it is my favorite holiday...")

Signs that you have nothing better to do

Right now, Comcast SportsNet is replaying every game of the 2005 World Series Champions!!! post-season run. So, the nuts at WSI are treating the broadcasts like live games, complete with in-"game" chats and post-game threads in the message boards.

Oh, and I saw the trophy today. It's almost real.

Quite unlike a mule eatin' an apple

I loved Bubble Bobble. I love VG Cats. So here's my "Nuts & Gum".

"Together at Last!"

To amend an earlier post, happy holiDAY

So, I was watching the O'Reilly Factor...I mean the Colbert Report, and I learned about Coca-Cola's discontinued "Santa Packs". I find the whole matter hilarious, and I almost think Fox News is directly working with Comedy Central's Fake News block for material.

(Watch out, slightly liberal moment imminent) Gotta love when right-leaning corporations make marketing-based decisions that incur the wrath of conservatives.

This girl's gonna have ish-SHOOOOOOOs

(WARNING: If you follow Law & Order: SVU, this post discusses plot points from tonight's episode.)

So, because I worked for 10 hours and am lazy, I let momentum carry me past My Name is Earl (What an unexpected guest star tonight! And a Hands on a Hardbody reference!) and the Office to the Special Victims Unit, on the premise of tonight's assailant being an 8 year old girl.

Boy, did the show deliver. At a Catholic school, the girl stabbed an older boy with scissors in the back, paralyzing him. As the episode progresses, we find out that she was being tormented for having two mommies, of the "Dude, that's hot!" variety. However, you rarely see her biological mother, as she's dying of cancer. The girl soon confesses, and she's about to be arrested...and it's only 9:30. Hmm...things are about to get contrived...

Well, here come the curveballs, en masse. First, in the girl's defense, her family attorney files a motion to suppress her confession, because the child wasn't in the presence of her parent or guardian ("Momma-Zoe" was there). Pragmatism at its best.

And then the revelations start rolling in. The victim cut off the child's hair and started calling her a dyke, which led to the attack. The priest of the school also lied to protect himself and the school. The girl's grandparents file for custody to keep the child from Momma-Zoe. Before a plea agreement for counseling, the grandparents reveal that the girl admitted to being sexually molested by Momma-Zoe. Momma-Zoe is arrested on the day her partner passes away.

During THAT investigation, the detectives find that the story is riddled with holes and conjectures, and that the grandparents manipulated the girl into implicating her mother. Retired felons. Sweet.

So, during THEIR trial, we learn that they were convinced children of gay couples are sexually abused by their parents from "studies" provided by their ATTORNEY.

The grandparents get off (as witnesses for the prosecution of their lawyer). Momma-Zoe is a widow, but is vindicated and has her daughter again.

And as for Emma, the girl who was bullied at school, lost one of her mothers, paralyzed a boy with scissors, was made to believe she was sexually abused by her mother, and is one of three generations in her family to be arrested on felony charges in the last year? She would have no chance of being well-adjusted.

See it again for the first time

To preface this post, I have seen "Bend It Like Beckham" before, but a debate had arisen over Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. I soon learned that, like most debates, we were arguing different points.

GGG's stance: Jonathan Rhys-Meyers is a bad actor. His face shows as much expression as Harrison Ford, Keanu Reaves, and Chris Klein (to go in descending order by generation).

SSBar/Lis's stance: Rhys-Meyers gets really hot in the second half of the film. (Normally, this wouldn't be a debate at all, but it had been a while since any of us had seen the movie, so, admittedly, I wasn't thinking straight.)

To settle matters, I sit down and watch the movie while I'm in Indiana last weekend. I am directed to the exact moment when Rhys-Meyers becomes hot (when he is wearing his button-down from work and actually does something to his hair). I whole-heartedly agree.

However, his acting "ability" still consists of two faces (at most). I suppose if he were in a drama or an action film, he would probably show an "angry" face, but not here.

So, checking where he picked up the name Rhys-Meyers (a sorta Welsh name, but he's Irish), I check his IMDb page, and find this gem of a quote:

"Being an actor is the easiest job. Just say the lines."

Case closed. Everybody wins. Especially REES-Meyers.

Of course, I loved Bend It Like Beckham (and Velvet Goldmine, for that matter), so I have no point.